Cat Power: Why I Stalk You

Just kidding. I don't really stalk her. You Are Free is one of the best albums to come out on Matador records in the last ten years. Sure, its been out for over 2 years now, but have you ever really listened to it? The opening track, I Don't Blame You sends chills down my spine every time I hear it. Sadness, coupled with a haunting harmony and the visions of a man onstage amidst the throng of phillistines gathered for a piece of his soul, mocking art and doing violence to noise, sex, sex, sex and a tear for the mirror. Speak for Me is a big hearted howl tearing through the tendons of sound enveloping my conciousness speaking auguries of hope, promise, and life. Life. He War. Pure sex and a big fuck you to all men. Give it to me. Give it to me. Shaking Paper descends the spiral staircase on the heels of John Coltrane and the Village Vanguard beats with goatees ablaze and brimstone in their hash pipes. Names like the pages of a dysfunctional picture album with pot leaves in the margins and strands of strichnine encrusted hair wrapped in gold ribbons and kissed with a farewell and a backwards glance.

All in all, Chan Marshall really, really needs to have my babies. Or at least stop feeding me to the cops when I'm outside her window at 3 am with a camcorder and a hard on. :-).

Iced Latte Reviews

1. Starbucks: Terrible. Bitter, foul tasting espresso with not enough pressure placed on the tamp. Not enough ice, not the right kind. Wretched service.

2. Espresso News: VG++. Hand tamped, luxuriantly iced, full bodied and smooth espresso with a generous helping of steamed whole milk. Second favorite in the world.

3. The Smudged Pot: Best. Hand tamped, iced using coffee cubes (yay!!), hot teen ass server and a comfortable atmosphere. Plus, it was 50 cents cheaper than most other places. Sometimes you get more than you pay for.

4. Higher Grounds: VG. Good service, comfortable atmosphere. Not hand tamped, and the espresso was a little flat. Can't get over the wretched color scheme of the joint. Too expensive.

5. Conrad's: VG-. Jesus Christ Superstar. Okay service, subpar quality, too expensive. A VG- is being generous. Hate, I repeat hate the music they play. Gotta step over the Bible study to get to the bathroom.

6. The Espresso Hut: Drive thru, good quality, no steamed milk. They use plain milk from the jug, but surprisingly its decent. Hot server, standard price. Decent quality espresso. VG.

7. The Java Hut: Good atmosphere, good espresso, comfortable couches. Good service makes this an enjoyable experience. Black Mountain tends to value itself a little too highly though where the prices are concerned. Too many hippies, not even grease. VG.

8. Malaprops: VG+. Great bookstore and a hell of an Iced Latte. Ugly servers with dreadlocks, but hey, what can you expect from downtown Asheville? Too many people and non smoking (isn't everywhere, anymore?) but all in all a really good Latte at a standard price.

9. Mona's: VG+. The only reason they get a VG+ is because if you bring your own cup an Iced Latte is a fucking dollar fifty. A DOLLAR FIFTY. My god, is it still the 1940's in Banner Elk? Plus the owner is Palestinian which gives her additional cool points.